Dial-a-Hunk on TV Talk Show With Calendar Models
News Transcript
(This is an unedited, uncorrected transcript):
Host: Hi, welcome back to the Coconut Hotline. We're gonna be talking right now with some of the guys of the crimson and grey, who have been in town, as I mentioned, three years now running, putting together their annual calendar, the Men of the Crimson and Gray which features Key West locations…. Have I got it right?
All Models: Scarlet & Gray.
Host: I'm sorry. Let's go back to commercial, we'll start that all over again. Scarlet & Gray! For three years running, Sean Ashbrook has been bringing these guys down to Key West and putting together a nifty calendar featuring great Key West locales, and once again Key West will be the featured destination point in this calendar, which is sold now nationwide. And with me right now is Matt Brown, Tom Adams, I wannna get these right, Michael Rubalcaba, Rob Walker, and Andy Holowaty. And these five guys have been in town now for a week, and been busy at work. You're all set. How many of you are left to be shot, as it were, Who's finished?
Rob Walker: Matt's finished.
Host: And the rest of you guys are still in front of the camera? And as I understand it too, you are going to be doing a photo shoot up at Duval Square Fitness from 11 to 1. So, if anybody wants to come up and watch the shoot, I guess its open to the public, they're welcome to come on by?
Matt Brown: Its gonna be more like a meet the calendar boys type thing.
Host: …Meet the calendar boys kind of thing. What is it like, I mean, this must be kind of like a weird thing, you get out of geometry one morning, and somebody comes over and says ‘hey, you wanna be a calendar boy?' That's basically how it happens isn't it? The guys on campus scout you out, look you over and say, hey there's a good looking guy, let's get him in the calendar.
Matt Brown: I guess that's how it works.
Host: I mean, where were you approached, over lunch or what, how does it happen?
Matt Brown: I was on my way to the library and I got stopped. I had my backpack on, and everything. I don't know what he saw, but he saw something, so.
Host: Now, that's neat. Now, what's happening, you must know some of the guys from the previous calendars I assume.
Matt Brown: None, none of them.
Host: No kidding. Now I would assume on the same campus that you guys would you know, hey I'm in the calendar, what is it like?
Matt Brown: 60,000 students there.
Host: Oh, is that all?
Matt Brown: Yeah, we knew none of each other before we came down here.
Host: That's almost too big a campus.
Matt Brown: No, its good.
Host: I mean you all have completely different circles of friends and what now?
Andy Holowaty: Yeah, its fun though, makes it interesting.
Host: But, it must make a great vacation to come down here to come down to Key West for a week during break.
Matt Brown: Definitely, Definitely.
Host: Now in terms of the calendar shoot, is it going to be at all risque? I mean there were a couple shots last year that were a little risque. I mean you got to, who knows, you go from being whoever you are and all of a sudden somebody wants to put you in a calendar and there you are doing your posing and what not. Again, this is the first time, of course, for you guys, but what's it like, I mean, is this tilted toward the risque?
Matt Brown: I would say so.
Host: You would say so?
Matt Brown: Yeah.
Host: Now, what does this do for your relationships with women on campus, does this make you guys sort of celebrities?
Matt Brown: We'll see when the calendar comes out.
Host: You'll see when you get back?
Rob Walker: It comes out in September, right when school starts, so…
Host: You know, there's a lot of women in town who saw the calendars from the past couple years and I mentioned to a few… Ellen, Ellen are you watching? I mentioned to a few women this afternoon that I was going to have you guys on from the calendar and there were a number of women who wanted to know if they could cal in and make bids on you. And so, I figured I would run it by you before the show so as far as you are concerned, you guys are ready for auction?
Matt Brown: Sure, let's do it up.
Host: What are the terms of the auction?
Matt Brown: Anything goes.
Host: Anything goes. Now if anybody wants to call in and make a bid on any of you guys, they can what? They'll come to the comedy club. They're all coming to the comedy club later tonight. So, if any of you want to come what do you do? They just come up, and buy you a drink and take you home?
Matt Brown: Hey, it sounds good!
Host: But I don't know if this has ever been done on television before. Joe, has this ever been done before on TCI?
Off Camera Staff Member: Not to my knowledge.
Host: Is this legal?
Off Camera Staff Member: Oh, why not!
Host: OK, anybody want to call and make a bid on any of these guys. 296-7755. No problem.
Andy Holowaty: We have a killer hot tub.
Host: Where's the hot tub? All the girls want to know.
Andy Holowaty: My place!
Host: Oh, we got a call, let's see what we got. Hello, Coconut Hotline. Anyone there? Oh we need the speakers don't we? Hello, No? OK. Nobody's there, they'll have to call back. Well, we'll see. Anyway, I don't know. Phones are open. Make a bid. No problem at all.
Host: So, tomorrow's shoot is at a gym. Where are some of the other shoot locations that you've been at so far?
Rob Walker: We've shot, we basically shoot all around the island.
Host: Oh, wait a minute, we do have a call. Hang on. Coconut Hotline. Oh boy, chickens, chickens.
Matt Brown: Speak up. Speak up.
Andy Holowaty: C'mon give us a call.
Host: 296-7755, Coconut Hotline.
Caller: Hey George.
Host: Hey, who's this?
Caller: Lucy.
Host: Hey Lucy, how you doing? Hey Lucy, you want one of these guys?
Caller: I didn't myself, but, I thought maybe somebody else would.
Host: So, there's someone you know. Like you know, a ‘friend' we know this routine, don't we? I know a friend who would like to meet…
Caller: I have a friend, yes.
Host: and which of these guys would your ‘friend' like to meet?
Caller: Well, any one of them actually.
Host: How bout all five?
Caller: Sure.
Host: OK, well, listen, is this the opening bid? What's the bid?
Caller: oh, I didn't know you had to put cash down.
Host: No, no, no, you can just come up to the comedy club and buy them a beer. I guess. That OK, guys?
Caller: Fine. That's fine.
Host: That good enough? You wanna come up and buy them a beer, you can take em home.
Caller: Well, I'd really have to check with my friend.
Host: You have to check with your friend. OK, well, listen, check with your friend and come on up.
Caller: What time tonight?
Host: The show's at 9:30. We'll give you first dibs on the boys.
Caller: Thank you.
Host: No problem Lucy. Coconut Hotline.
Caller: Hi, are these guys local?
Host: No, they're visiting in town from Ohio State University.
Caller: Oh, no bid.
Host: No bid? You mean you want to keep them or what? No bid? Coconut Hotline. Oh, everybody wants to talk to them, then they get cold feet.
Andy Holowaty: Come on, don't get chicken.
Host: No bids?
Host: Listen, I was asking about some of the shoot locations outside of the gym, have you been doing a lot of things on the beaches, in the wilderness!
Matt Brown: Today I shot on the beach out on a sailboat. We shoot all over the place, we try to scattered and go from one place to another place so people do not start gathering around and for some of the shots you don't want anybody around watching.
Host: Ya know, I remember hearing a story for the girls shoot in St. Pete a year or two ago that they almost got arrested on the beach during the shoot.
Matt Brown: That's why we're hear.
Host: Don't want to stay in any one place for too long?
Matt Brown: That's right.
Host: Moving target there? We got a call? Coconut Hotline.
Caller: Hi, my name is Peter Mallot.
Host: Hey Peter.
Caller: How you doing?
Host: I'm doing very well. How are you?
Caller: Fine. I was wondering if these are the guys who do a shoot down here the other day with these girls down on the beach. Did they enjoy themselves?
Matt Brown: Oh yeah, it was a good time.
Host: They hated it. I can tell by the looks on their faces.
Caller: I bet they did.
Matt Brown: It was Miss Key West Aloe.
Caller: Alright thank you George.
Host: Miss Key West Aloe? Coconut Hotline. Oh, its that dial tone again. So anyway, if any of the people want to get in on the shoot they can drop by and meet the guys tomorrow at… We have another phone call? Coconut Hotline.
Male Caller with effeminate voice: George!
Host: Yes?
Male Caller: Those guys are so handsome.
Host: Yes.
Male Caller: Can I meet them tonight?
Host: Yes.
Male Caller: They're beautiful.
Host: Yes. They going to all be coming up to Coconuts Comedy Club later and if you'd like, we can save you a seat at their table.
Male Caller: Oh, could I?
Host: Sure.
Male Caller: They're just so handsome!
Host: Well, just come on up and just identify yourself. Ill give you the code word, OK, when you come to the door. No, don't let anyone hear this, OK, I'm gonna whisper this so no one else can hear. When you get to the door, come up and say ‘hippopotamus'. OK? And I'll know its you.
Male Caller: I love em, George.
Host: You got it?
Male Caller: Every one of em.
Host: No problem.
Male Caller: OK, bye, bye.
Host: Bye bye.
Andy Holowaty: All right!
Host: Anyway, you know tonight is going to be an adventure for you guys. I know it. I know it. Anyway, for those of you who would like to meet the guys, if you want, sure come up to the show tonight, but there will be a meet the models session tomorrow at Duval Square Health and Fitness between 11 and 1. And in fact, we'll be broadcasting it live over Island 107 FM and if any of you would like to come by and drop in on a real-live model photo shoot, with these terrific guys, come on by. And listen, I want to wish you the best of luck while you're down here and best of luck with the calendar project too. Who knows where it will lead.
Matt Brown: You never know.
Host: Somewhere interesting, I'm sure. Anyway, thanks for coming by guys and have a good time while you're down here.
Originally published June 19, 1992. Story © Coconut Telegraph. This text is exactly as published.