[Dave] Finally I got it here on big old big old big old bold letters: We have a great guest in the studio today. Perhaps you have a calendar featuring him. His name is Brett Shaut.
[Dave] Is that right? That's right.
[Shawn] That a boy, Dave. Yeah, Oprah Winfrey here.
[Dave] He will appear on the Oprah Winfrey show. Where is the commercial, Merlin? Lets take a chance and see if they mentioned it today.
[TV Commercial] I'm Oprah Winfrey we asked some really sexy men what they think makes them so sexy. Genetics. Is it bedroom eyes? Seductive...
[Dave] Genetics? Was that your...?
[TV Commercial] Sexy celebs, hometown hunks. Can we get a close-up of Victor's lips and an audience eager for answers. On the next Oprah.
[Dave] Okay, so watch Oprah today, okay.
[Shawn] How exciting Brett. That was you on Oprah!
[Dave] Cool. So how did you get this opportunity. Obviously you posed in the magazine Campus Men last year and did you just get a phone call out of nowhere or does someone pump this up for you?
[Brett] Ah, Sean pumped it all up for me because they gave me a call at home and then my roommate called me at work and said Brett, I think the Oprah show just called for you. And I was like did they leave a number. Yeah but I kind of forget the number. And so I had to call Sean and get the number and call them back, so.
[Dave] So, from the phone call to the actual show, how long did it take?
[Brett] Oh they called me on a Monday. They flew me out Wednesday.
[Dave] Geez.
[Andy] Didn't have time to get nervous.
[Dave] What was the topic of the show. They always have these famous interesting topics titles.
[Brett] I think the topic was what sexy men think is sexy.
[Dave] Well let's pose the question to you. Give us a little taste of what you are going to say this afternoon.
[Brett] Ah well, they, well she asked me, she started off with me. She goes okay Mr. furniture salesman, what makes you sexy? And I just said, genetics. Because backstage they told us what questions they're going to ask.
[Shawn] So, they prompt you?
[Brett] Yeah. And no one could think of an answer. Everyone was saying, you know, my eyes, my lips, whatever. You know, my hair. That's what makes me sexy and I thought that's pretty cheesy, so I'm going to think of my own answer. And so I said, genetics.
[Dave] Did you get, I mean, obviously you met Oprah, but before you went on the air, or after you went on the air, off the air?
[Brett] Oh, none of the above. Well, when we walked ah. We were backstage. And the show was running late. A couple of the stars were real late. So we were backstage in the green room for a while. and then right before the show started, she just walked past us and said hi guys and walked out on stage. And we were like Oh there goes the show. So...
[Shawn] What was your impression of Oprah?
[Brett] Well once, when she introduced us all, she knew all our names right away. I mean there was seven nobodies, like me. But of course stars, I would expect her to know their names. There were seven nobodies. She read our names off once and didn't look at a cue card or anything and she knew all our names. I'm looking behind me, looking to see if my name's above me my head somewhere. Who am I?, why does she know my name, but you know she's real intelligent.
[Shawn] Well, you don't forget "Rope man" very easily.
[Dave] and if you want to pick it up, it is the Campus Men calendar and rope man...
[Andy] what is it, is he swinging on a rope? I haven't seen it. Is it in this one right here?
[Dave] Rope man's in last year's calendar. Last years, the color one, Campus Men in Key West. We were looking through the, well we were looking for all of the Campus Men and women of a OSU calendars
[Andy] Is this you right here?
[Dave] ...and we are just kind of curious.
[Andy] Yeah, I guess that is Rope Man.
[Dave] You guys are all built like, brick you know what's. But, how do you get to make these faces, because what seems to be sexy to look at it in a picture, in real life would probably require a real disgusting face. Like, one of those drummer faces.
[Brett] I'll take that as a compliment.
[Shawn] Somewhere buried in there is a compliment.
[Brett] Okay well the, the shoot that I did took 3 1/2 hours, so I think it was just excruciating pain by the time we kneeling on that deck for that long, and I was like Sean let's get out of here I'm getting tired. I have bars to hit after this. I got to go home.
[Shawn] Sean, you've been doing this how many years now? This is quite of few.
[Sean] A little too long, about five years.
[Shawn] You hate your job, I can tell.
[Dave] You have to augment any of the pictures?, ah, oh...
[Shawn] Airburshing, is that what you are saying?
[Dave] Well not Brett's. Not Brett's. No no. Of course. That was all mean lean 100% real machine, but, do you have to take an airbrush to anybody?
[Sean] Well I don't want to destroy anybody's fantasy, but I think one year on the cover we airbrushed some tan lines.
[Dave] Some tan lines? Is that the one you just showed me?
[Dave] Yeah that was the one, okay.
[Shawn] Wait, I got an... I got an invite there...
[Shawn] In fact Sean brought um, for an application type thing for me for next year I don't know if you'd seen that?
[Dave] Ah, let's see: Dear Shawn, I need a water bottle sprayer.
[Shawn] Something right up my alley.
[Dave] It's a tough job, but I think you are up to the challenge. You'll have to commit yourself to the project, traveling a great distance to Miami Beach Florida, spending three days and nights in bold capital letters, with a gang of the best looking college hunks at the Ohio State University. Well, we...
[Shawn] I do not think, I do not think I'm could possible do that. It sounds really strenuous.
[Dave] This offer, is this a legitimate offer?
[Shawn] Look, he even has an itinerary on the next page.
[Dave] Let's see, you leave Columbus Friday, June 18. Andy Ireland, if you are listening, you arrive in Miami at 10 PM. You shoot in Miami Beach Saturday and Sunday, June 19 and 20th. Blah blah blah. Oh geez from Friday, June 18 to Saturday, June 26 in Florida and Key West.
[Shawn] Mmm, well I'd have to check my busy schedule. Oh I am free!
[Dave] Shawn, man if you are up for that offer. If she can do that... Shawn?
[Shawn] June? It is?
[Dave] Yeah
[Shawn] I got to work on my tan lines. Bring that brush will you, Sean.
[Dave] Is there anything about the show that people wouldn't - I don't know - necessary see - like, what do they do in between commercial timeouts.
[Brett] Um, basically not a whole lot. Basically she, Oprah just talks a little bit to the crowd, everything like that. She's real personable with the crowd. It's not just the two minutes, Opera gets some brainstorms every now and then, then we have to, you know, change the show a little bit when we come back from commercial. They just break for commercial, you know I guess for taping. There's no apparent reason.
[Shawn] Have your phone's been ringing, do you think this might this spawn something else?
[Brett] Ah, you get a lot of like Key West, ah, newspapers have called. Miami Herald has called. That type of newspaper. But once the show airs, I hope somebody calls!
[Dave] So, that is on, Merlin, you looked it up when is Oprah's on today. At four on 10 TV you can see Brett and any other guy from central Ohio or or did they just recruited em from all over the place.
[Brett] Yeah, they recruited them from all over the place. I was the only one from Ohio.
[Shawn] Did you go buy some new clothes for the show?
[Brett] yes. (laughs)
[Andy] Do they make you shave your chest for this or do they suggest? I see that some guys it looks like maybe you have and others.
[Brett] Well, well, hair does not grow on steel so...
[All] Oh! (laughs)
[Dave] I thought you were walking into angry territory, Andy. He gave you a look like, hey pal if I don't have something witty, you're going down.
[Dave] If you would, if you are interested, in being a girl or guy for 1994, for the Campus Men and the women of Ohio State University calendar, call Esprit, Is it? Oh L'Esprit. le-es-prit Model Management for details at 885-9752. We will hold that number here.
[Dave] And Brett, Thank you very much for coming this early. How long do you normally roll out of bed?
[Brett] Ah, nowhere near this time.
[Dave] Well thank you and pick up..
[Shawn] Thank you Sean.
[Dave] ...we'll be watching today.
[Andy] Grass does not grow on a well used playground either.
[Brett] There you go
[Andy] Thank you Andy. Or on a wet bag of...
[Andy] hey, hey...
Originally published Feb. 24, 1993. Story © WNCI's Morning Zoo 97.9 FM. This text is exactly as published.