Calendar boy weather
Dirk is a junior from a prestigious suburb of an exciting city. He hopes to take his 4.0 grade point average and become a popular actor or U.S. Senator.
An ideal day for Dirk would include weather like today's - sunny skies with a high near 50 and a slight westerly breeze.
His day would start with a vigorous aerobics workout, a relaxing swim in Prince William Sound, before making a fresh cup of coffee from the beans he picked earlier while mountain climbing in the hills of Colombia.
Dirk would spend the afternoon driving his Harley on the beaches of Rio while sporting his hulking well-tanned frame wearing only a white Speedo.
After being pampered by exotic international models, Dirk would board his private jet for a night of dancing at all the popular night clubs in London.
Of course the weather would be similar to Columbus' - mostly cloudy skies with lows near 30.
After meeing Miss Right, he would bring her to his penthouse in L.A. for a little jacuzzi action under the stars.
Finally, Dirk would go into seizures due to jet lag and pass out, leaving a small pond of slobber on his silk pillowcase.
Originally published April 11, 1989. Story © Ohio State Lantern. This text is exactly as published.
